The Poetry Project

Two Sigils

Claire Ronan

X

tied tight	 it is a ball
poetry drips 		on the knot 	in intercourse
to loosen and let 
slither 		the strands
across 		themselves
unclenched; hollow		becoming vessels

vessels 	becoming	hollow		 unclench
themselves 		
across
the strands	slither
and let to loosen
in intercourse		 the knot drips on. 	poetry
is a ball tied tight
&
I prefer the stable choice of shutting off
the movie without witnessing the end
to the uncertainty of falling asleep
while the script plays out, releasing
my perceived control over the world
of the scene in which I’ll wake up
& in my mind
& it is becoming
& a self upon a self
after the loss of a lover I step forward
in an old room
I have not been home in some time
I travel between
past home & present home
wherever in the world present home may be
past remains in the same place
arrival and departure are two distinct trips
one is easy as the rhythmic folding
of waves onto shore
the other is harsh
shoving bills in a sandpaper-lined wallet
wondering why my credit cards never swipe on the first try
when I am not traveling
I cannot remember which direction is which
I do not remember home being here
but I do remember truth feeling exactly like this

before boarding a train I am restless
pining for a feeling I have known but cannot prepare for
because it was bound like a marble in the hand of an other
& I want the marble
& my mind can produce pining
& yearning begets
gazing out the window
begets courting
begets touching
begets cumming
I re-enter my memories
I replace the lover with my pining
self, younger
we fuck
& we cum
& again
more real

Work from Who Drives the Pen? Meditations on Mirrors, Thresholds, and Selves with Gabrielle Octavia Rucker

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