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Publications > Footnotes > Work from Who Drives the Pen? Meditations on Mirrors, Thresholds, and Selves with Gabrielle Octavia Rucker

Two Sigils

Claire Ronan

X tied tight it is a ball poetry drips on the knot in intercourse to loosen and let slither the strands across themselves unclenched; hollow becoming vessels vessels becoming hollow unclench themselves across the strands slither and let to loosen in intercourse the knot drips on. poetry is a ball tied tight
& I prefer the stable choice of shutting off the movie without witnessing the end to the uncertainty of falling asleep while the script plays out, releasing my perceived control over the world of the scene in which I’ll wake up & in my mind & it is becoming & a self upon a self after the loss of a lover I step forward in an old room I have not been home in some time I travel between past home & present home wherever in the world present home may be past remains in the same place arrival and departure are two distinct trips one is easy as the rhythmic folding of waves onto shore the other is harsh shoving bills in a sandpaper-lined wallet wondering why my credit cards never swipe on the first try when I am not traveling I cannot remember which direction is which I do not remember home being here but I do remember truth feeling exactly like this before boarding a train I am restless pining for a feeling I have known but cannot prepare for because it was bound like a marble in the hand of an other & I want the marble & my mind can produce pining & yearning begets gazing out the window begets courting begets touching begets cumming I re-enter my memories I replace the lover with my pining self, younger we fuck & we cum & again more real

Work from Who Drives the Pen? Meditations on Mirrors, Thresholds, and Selves with Gabrielle Octavia Rucker

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