THE GONE THING
We tried to go home with ourselves
But when we got there our labor stood
Magnificently tall in a blue robe of light flickering
She’s a long glassy tooth that we kiss
Goodnight, tomorrow I will fill up my cart
And push it with one hand and with the other
I will press loose units to my breast
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I have come to the hot room to work
Washing paint from a screen and clacking boards
Not every person has worked do you know
If you’ve worked about the chicken fryer
Or been sentenced to work in debt to those
Entities which don’t work which have given to us debt
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Everything flows from those who have nothing
For free in the cold room I had come
To work in steadfast devotion to a capability
Which would give me a voice in high places and
Something to look at under tables sat
With owners who will unlearn my daughter of work
In the restaurants and the strip clubs
and fields of unlicensed care
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All riches flow from ideas that don’t work at home
Because we have nothing to give we give them our give
We are serving intellectual minnows who take
Our most common deeds and build from them concepts
We yielded our daydreams we branded
Grandma’s handwritten poem her unrecorded beauty
And the secret of cotton dead from too much watering
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Most of the time we are ducks caught in rapids
We have chosen it over the still pond
Across the meadow we are admired for
our sputtering sacrifice when the clouds part
A voice says you deserve it
And we bob to accept the white water in our bills
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Everything we have flows from those financials
Which illuminate nothing for I choose it this way
All day I gestate another era of co-signs
I gather no crops in my palms I nurse lost time
Those trees in the valley have learned to curtsy
To the wind Now where did they get this idea?
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Blue fucking pastoral says the boss in my case
When the law has come to spill your song
Try to go home with yourself they’ll pry
Open your tweets the boss has no money nice try
I have to work with the banners a dirge with gloss
And the sales within them trembling with bonus
We tried to earn enough to go home
But the quarter was weak
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Go down great losers of history for you are
Human resources so precious so vast are you
That we must bury you in the ground to extract
You later like the heroes you are fined to be
You see money’s in the valley and glory’s in the fees
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When the boss speaks no one is the boss
One can only follow the work as it matures into rest
A life bobbing for air for her But the air
Oh, the air up there!
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Remember to take the pill that makes you ill
Enough to perform at the top you’re an earner
As well as a mother you’re a midwife to industries
When you are home with yourself you enter
A new market you tap against your own glass you
Lie down in the shape of a kidney and stare
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Who are you dithering in the open not
Trying to be rich or remembered don’t you
Know there are those who give us all one name
We walked up through miles of iron hills past
Towns of broken eggs with the doors ajar revealing
Today’s Walmart deals and entrepreneurs sitting
With their legs cut off below the knees they wave
A bruised medal an upturned tin we grow old
In a series of twitches drinking beer on the slab of a garage
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One road led to the train trellis where the river
And the blind blood of teenagers made it sweet enough
For a while to have never seen a Grecian urn behind
layers of metaphor or marked a marble stair
With my heel I have tried to walk above myself
Only to end up romanticizing
The wrong side of the tracks
The money a clean flight home
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I once saw the Prom King stabbed on a mossy rock
His blood ran in the current what could be more
Tragic than never having the chance to pick a career
Path or stock portfolio to run a check into a slot
With a glowing blue mouth that accepts it
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On the island of Naoshima the James Turell made
A woman cry, “Help me! I can’t see” and simply it was death
We all felt it which is common and profound easy
To reckon but so much duller to face without light
I’ve decided to die eyes open after seeing some things that
Make me want to live forever like the hundreds
Of faces I saw pinched between gasping
Waterlilies issued from a man’s sharp loneliness
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And if you’d never been with a redhead in Paris or
Lost by the Tiber or tongue kissed in Lisbon or at the bottom
Of a limestone quarry or facing the long scream of beauty
Of course it would seem the hometown river runs on
Forever low except when it’s too high and it’s possible
To drown by only a fingertip having seen no lucite stairs
Leading up to a temple of solvency and promissory
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What we’re saying is I’m going to kick over the ladder
Once I get to the top and you’re going to knock
Your kids back a few rungs and she’s going to decline
This metaphor altogether in favor of keeping growth
In check while acknowledging her great privilege to do
So others can be paid to hold the base of the ladder
By giving up their turn to climb it
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We trade merits for places inside grains of wood
The straining necks under waterlilies
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Firmly my debts have taken me in the night on wild
Parachute glides they come as fierce sprites to my bed
Carrying me across the economic landscape
Pointing to the private sector in seductive terms holding me
Like a lender who can bury you or marry you
But instead holds your breath in her mouth forever
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Back to what I was saying we’re going to build our own
And if that doesn’t work we will take someone else’s ladder
At the stake they’ll burn all the ladders up to Valhalla if we keep on
Upon my honor mercy will prevail for the unladdered
Says the laddered as she curls the rung in her arch
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We tried to go home but the way was lost
I am trying to make a baby a home
I am trying to make a home in a baby
I am the only blight of my life
I’m trying won’t you to yield fruit once again I am
What I am so I repeat our prayer that we will
All go back to earth before we are returned to earth wrong
Fallen off ladders like rusted weathervanes after taxes
Poor machinery pointing the others nowhere
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We tried to take nothing home with us except for
All the threads we thought to re-braid
From when we tied our gait from here to there
Expecting an eventual croon take nothing home
Except your defiant laziness your angry exhaustion
Tomorrow I will pull a new hum
While holding a payment in my breath
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This would be a hymn
It would be stiff lingerie opened in an SUV
It would be a collection on unpaid overtime
It would buy polo shirts at the mall
It would steal lettuce from quiet aisles
And soothe the stubs of unlovable feelings
We have pressed inside us a handful of truths
Such as time is an accumulation of tense surrenders
You resisted but couldn’t prevent
And the sex of money is a blue ice too hard to melt
She shakes her head “no” while mouthing “yes”
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I tried to perform work instead of working and it worked
Much better under the newest circumstances
And with this diploma I ate and drank and paid for it
With the parts of my body that meant nothing to me
This problem you will come to recognize as another’s
Arrived with me and will go with you too
Because it costs way more to let it sink