It was a way to get into the space;
A way to allow the burden of my body to uncurl
Like a cicada burning in the sun
Like a gum wrapper being stepped on
& you worry it’s gum but it’s not gum
It’s just your worry
I’ve worried about the many iterations of our meeting
The spaces we took up together
the spaces we never took up together
The spaces we wanted to take up together
The space you wanted to take up with me
The space I didn’t want to take up with you
The spaces neither of us could reach
The sound continued to rustle in my ear all along
Weather you were there or not
It was my sound
It was never your sound
I just wanted it to be your sound
It was just a thud, that was what your sound was
Your sound making a thud onto my sound
When I didn’t have any other sound to compare it to
Jangle jangle jangle
Every moment is one of waking
Every moment touches another moment
The moments with you always uncurl simultaneously
Do you ever wonder why it’s so easy being with certain
People and why it feels so hard being with others
I could never not forgive you
Whatever wrongs you committed
Were always wiped clean
Even the wrongs I’d spend weeks
Months days what seemed like years
Obsessing over. Those were the best
Kinds of wrong I eventually forgave you for
I eventually began to understand that
More than anything, more than wanting you
I wanted to be a part of you and you a part of me
I wanted to know what it felt like to let the sounds
Of bodies not entangled or in relationship
Awaken - the sound of a snore, the sound of a sigh
The sound of a kitchen sink
The sound of not speaking
The sound of not wanting to speak
The sound of having nothing to say
Just the sound of breath
Or not hearing breath
Then wondering where you went
The sound of being seen by another
When not even you can see yourself clearly yet