The Happy Skeptic
Gotta background in skepticism, exposed to skepticism growing up
given tools an'toys that tumored my fix, y'feel me!
Given bowls of that love for breakfast, ministered every Sunday
reams worth of skeptic...spat, vomited and shit that crap out every damn cold spell.
Mastered a degree, fingered a loan outta the G.O.V.
so's I could teach it, breathe it, and puppet the coffers with some lonely bullshit.
Backed up my shimmy with conspiracy sermons, served up onna moving picture I downloaded...
to honor the fears of my family, no comments no likes no santa!
Freedom in my blood from the get-go, got me...no gfe no jefe no schwarma daredevils.
Meep meep on my molars, etched in sketch "Skeptic 101," with cliff notes on my gall stones.
Coyotes on a tightrope, whistling text to wake up the winners
with an inside job, y' feel me...now that's some real world shit right there, son.
Gave up, got a high rise in 'Cino, moved in with a couple of two timing frauds.
You know, some status league overseas enchiladas
witta permanent hard-on for --- watchu looking' at...kidney stone alpha bits onna fallopian fluffer?
Cramming video after video of solar flares, so's I could pretend...
I'm the right kind of traveler, ridin' that Triple A countdown
to some punch 'n judy macho shit...just so's I can re-fresh my wipe?
NO CAN DO MISTER VAGINA! Big O adolescent,
I sucked before I could bite! Left every dive I left my come in, cleaner.
Tissue instagram...y' feel me! Fracked chlomidia with infant clorox.
Scooped up, packed tight and puffed every sock into my tomatillos to impress
them Maybelline cover-ups; populatin' little urethrans with overtwinks of mac 'n cheese...
I PAID MY RENT LIKE A MO-FO!
Graduated hard knocks and freeway bj's, supported the family biz
with reams of skeptic jiz. Flipped the bong off many a skeptic pancake,
jumped ship to CAN'T-I-SQUATUS-LAND. See my stroll on the carpet,
I got me a card the color of boss, wearin' my stink like a billable enema!
Subliminal nut job --- best backstabber on the planet...the one behind you.
Yeah I know...this is a loser talking, hitting the same damn walls over an' over.
So tell me...MR. V --- IF the earth is round...how come I
can't make it in the real world?