The last time I was in Sturgis
I slapped a Hell’s Angel
in the apartment
where his dad had died
in some fall month
of some prior year
Fuck you
I will fight you
I might have said
from the coffin
full of beer
on the porch
up on sawhorses
He smelled like a ladder rung
He smelled like a mouth
I had never seen carpet like that
in a bathroom before
I can tell you now
I am all that’s left
of my future
I am only interested in badness
Pistils swinging
in the head of a lily
by the creek as deep
as a horse’s heart
I rode a horse
that was all heart
in the Swan River Valley
where a man once told me
I am not the best example
of how a good person
should be
In favor of something
more metallic
I left my body
unoccupied
and drooling
in the hay meadow
where I dropped
my phone
I’ve been asked
to take it
many times
by many people
on warm and sunny days
I daydream about blowjobs
about really taking it
past my rows of teeth
to the wall of my throat
where I might not give it back
I didn’t think it would rain
but here we are
My nail polish the color
of raspberry yogurt
through the film
of my tent
dripping
in the badlands
I wanna orgasm forever
and never die
I can feel myself
falling out of being
I can hear the river
behind each wet bird
I can feel my hair falling
somewhere coiled
behind my head
Do snakes have enemies
Who is your favorite violent person
I’ve been alone with snakes
They were never my enemy
not even once
Can you pull a fish up
by the gills
and still be gentle
with your eyes
I’ve hooked an eye
I’ve thrown it back
I’ve been a dream girl paddling