The Poetry Project

What the ear recalled but the hand could not hold

Maryam Parhizkar

(a fugue)


something as a haunting ––or

an attempt to determine a source:

xxxxxxxxxxThe friction between two untreated surfaces––

xxxxxxxxxxThe car’s weight against the old track––

xxxxxxxxxxThe chain speed runs against a steadfast component––

xxxxxxxxxxThe variations of many components within one larger object:

xxxxxxxxxxThe larger object comprised of many smaller objects
xxxxxxxxxx& some are filled with air.

xxxxxxxxxxA greaseless wheel as an inversion of how things should be
xxxxxxxxxxSome things —

––something as a haunting. Inversion of expectation causes friction creating
a source of tension. Tension as a pulling force between two places. Fingers put
upon a string make a measurement. Hair pulled across metal makes vibration
the result a circular motion evident in the complete image
at slower motion:

xxxxxxxxxxI consider the contact of surfaces:
xxxxxxxxxxconsider how the effects of this contact
xxxxxxxxxxtouch the air.

xxxxxxxxxxThe friction between two sources —
xxxxxxxxxxtwo components of your sense of being
xxxxxxxxxxbe they anything at all. Air expelled
xxxxxxxxxxas breath. Something—

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI have been considering the pull
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxand the production.

xxxxxxxxxxI have been considering the process
xxxxxxxxxxand the thing that is made. One pull
xxxxxxxxxxmay take place of another
xxxxxxxxxxmay produce one kind of resonance:
xxxxxxxxxxthe other letting go— breaks—
xxxxxxxxxxbreathes outward  its air.  Consider
xxxxxxxxxxthe difficulty  of breath
xxxxxxxxxxhow breath is the product
xxxxxxxxxxof a series of pulls
xxxxxxxxxx& then vibration. A larger
xxxxxxxxxxobject comprised of many
xxxxxxxxxxsmaller objects– if not objects
xxxxxxxxxxwhat then.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxWhat might it be
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxto be peripheral noise: as –– ––

Something as a haunting-— What prefers
xxxxxxxxxxto go unnoticed except out the corner
xxxxxxxxxxof an eye. It corners the eye so that
xxxxxxxxxxonly the eye itself is noticed. No sense
xxxxxxxxxxof a mouth. A voice comes out with air
xxxxxxxxxxbut there is no mouth visible only
xxxxxxxxxxthe eye. The mouth in painstaking
xxxxxxxxxxmovement asks how an eye is capable
xxxxxxxxxxof loudness.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTo speak something softly:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxmaking a large smallness
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxin other words an extremity.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxA tension between two ways
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof declaring a presence and something  –– –– ––

or: how might your love be
peripheral. Your love becomes
loudness in a tender way. A large
a small  not  a thing but
something else.  How might
your love summon an apocalypse—
a rotation in a small
loudness. A rotation
as revolving.

A revolving as a full circle. The string
vibrates in full. A vibration
as an ellipse curving around itself maybe
a grammar. All comes back full
as a moon. A full moon
pulls   makes   a sea change. Throw
a stone into water and contact
between stone and water make
waves travel through water from
stone making circles and moving
very far, shifting something though
not  things themselves but something—

something else entirely—

A stone and the capability of a largeness.
A smallness becomes loud had you
been aware of it or otherwise. Smallness
breathes loudly making air making wave
making an avalanche ––



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxWanting to produce a noise but
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxknowing that if it falls  ––




Embedding bodiless music
a thing itself or not
a thing or

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxsomething else entirely…..

Embodying ballad knowing
this becomes a making
of a body apocryphal:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxthis, how you will keep the ones you love…..

This is how you will keep the ones
you love, outliers at the edge
of a sightline– a thing you
didn’t see coming but occasionally
it sounds to tell you that it is there.


there it is. A bird sounds
almost as a person in morning ––
at least we think: it is almost
a person but how would you be
so sure—

Sound a song a thing not
a thing slowly cutting air
singing noise but if a bird
sings and no one knows then––

The coming of full circle.

How far a wave travels: ask
could it come back to itself:
It waits for a thing to stop it….

A thing does not stop the wave
but sound moves through it:
sound moving from its source —
a practice maybe yes in not being
as a thing itself  but moving through it.
Move through the thing:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxso far along the edge you could almost see yourself in it—

So far along you could almost see yourself in it.

To be perpetually outside yourself
so as to overcome: a noise comes
from a place but leaves it: a body
embedded in the music singing

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI am so tired I could sleep for all the years……

To embed the noise in the ballad makes
the apocryphal — and if –– it falls — but —
it falls….
But if it strikes and no one knows–

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAs the years go by as the years go by
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxas the years go by……..


The production of a resonance a consonance a dissonance against all but all goes through it: what
is it.

What is it. The source of a sense of things. The source is sensation.
Of waves sounding –– something that is not but moving elsewhere.

An inversion of you maybe: all I have come to know so transitory.

A vestibule of a building and everything goes through it. The shine comes off: recognition
of time moving and compulsions all modulating. Forgetting all those judas kisses:

How we were never intended targets but came to be:

Though at the time we did not know we have come to accept:

what is not an austerity but an insurance against future betrayals ––

the thing –– it injures ––

or, to dodge the motion should it move towards us again. For we cannot be beloved
or save others desiring distant modulations, new schema––

And so, a schizophrene state divides you in two.

How to remember necessary pulses against the presence of others:

A fear in two that you cannot hear what is happening in one:

And so, drawing on your own soft note you become a secret:

For each thing inscribed something is lost: a necessity of sparseness as breathing room for a repertoire. All the noises deeply inscribed in a ballad:

Seeing yourself embedded in a beloved song:
seeking resonance for a beloved you cannot hear:

You cannot love a beloved as you wish to hear them because you are split in two:
one looks from outside wanting and the other makes the kiss.

Which is truly outside–– or, are both embedded there listening in secret:

Body becomes ballad becomes apocryphal.

A kiss from the mouth, loud but only the eye is visible.  But if a mouth moves––

The secret listener whose name is silent for the fear of killing. The listener is unaware of the mouth: the eye speaks volumes volumes volumes……

The eye which cannot find its mouth.

As if always ––  as if: as an attempt to determine a source.

A haunt of a smallness seismic within the grandeur of a divide:

xxxxxxxxxxsomething goes:something:


xxxxxxxxxxas –– –– ––


Issue 12